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Your anxiety sticks to you like a shadow. Self-doubt begins and your self-esteem begins to Nice Blood In Side Me Potbelly Shirt evaporate. You do not trust yourself so everything you do or say churns through your mind again and again. What is real and what is the mania? Would I feel different, act different, think different, be different if I was on my meds? You doubt the most essential of things like do I love this person and do these people love me? The mind has a knack for bringing up every bad thing ever and abusing you with it. I think its all to do with dopamine. The mania IMO is the only way for my minimal amount of say d2 receptors.

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Eventually, this anxiety tends to go one of two ways. One, you push through the anxiety into Nice Blood In Side Me Potbelly Shirt further heights of mania, possibly to the point of breaking with reality. The mania makes all of that anxiety.. inconsequential. Or the anxiety drags you into the depression, often with panic attacks, suicidal thoughts, and a strong desire to disappear from your own life. The depression stays there until the mania comes back as a sort of mental defense mechanism. Hopefully, you start taking your meds again before you really sink into that depression.

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I do not really know a lot about psychology, psychiatry, brain Nice Blood In Side Me Potbelly Shirt chemistry, or whatever. It has always felt like everything twists around anxiety to me. That’s just the way your brain works mine is largely the mania where my Danger doesn’t do that turns off. A lucky person will have a brain/body that starts off low and gets higher as they do reward tasks (Val/Val gene). They will also have an ‘average’ amount of receptors / sensitive receptors so that tasks feel rewarding. People with bipolar differ but for me I’m sure it has something to do with how I’m low in certain receptors due to genes but have a ‘high-dopamine’ mind (met/met).

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